Tbh I’m alright being a single parent as long as I have the resources to take care of a child (my own + my child’s father money). I don’t really feel like men for the most part are active participants in child rearing. Plus, I feel like having a man in my house would be super stressful wrt to their contribution or lack thereof to the household – I feel like it would be like having another child. And a lot of this probably has to do with my own father. But I really don’t see it for men. Idk man.
I can understand that. They’ve really not done much to earn our trust in them as parents. As long as you can create a loving environment and extended family/friend group of support you and your child/ren will be fine. Real tangible support, like grandparents or longtime best friend that doesn’t mind giving you a weekend/night off once/twice a month. Family members that spoil your child with quality time and security. Friends whose children are in the same activities that can share carpooling duties with. If you get sick someone who loves you that will come care for you and your child. Single mothers most often lack the support system for the daunting task of motherhood so Prepare!
“Being able to hand off the baton to each other quickly became a saving grace. I was able to reintroduce myself to myself, embrace alone time and create more balance in my life. I have also been able to help Tia, like when she needed a break from her youngest son so she could facilitate a workshop one evening. I didn’t need to be asked, because I’m a mom. I know it’s nearly impossible to do anything in the presence of a 3-year-old.
Best of all, our sons get to bond like brothers, learn how to compromise, share and help our household function by pitching in with clean-up and meal prep. This wouldn’t be the case had we attempted to live alone in New York City with our respective kids.
There is a stigma about single mothers ― that we are overstressed, overtired, underappreciated and permanently in bad moods. There is a sense of acceptance around these ideas. We ourselves accept them as truths and try to work around them with the pressure of society at our feet. It’s as if we are constantly apologizing for failing to create the socially acceptable nuclear family. So instead of asking for help, we take on more than the average person. As women, this is already something we’re used to doing ― this piling-on of life. As mothers, we do it usually to the detriment of our sanity and health.”
honey-bun-diaries 