every semester, without fail, there’s some freshman who’s like “oh I never check my email lol” and i get worried for them, bc they’re going to miss some important email about a pop quiz or a test, or something and then fail. so if you’re a freshman reading this, CHECK YOUR EMAIL im not joking, professors will send you stuff via email that they’ll never mention in class. I’m in my email every hour on the hour before and after class. check that shit. put that app on ur phone, turn on notifs, go in and refresh every hour, check your spam, check your email
this has been a message from your concerned dad. check ur email, do well in school, i love you
honestly? im done with the lies. being little spoon fuckign sucks okay? it really does. its hot and sweaty and cramped and you better believe that arm wrapped around you is gunna go from “acceptable foreign weight” to “there is a literal blue whale colony collapsed atop you” in about 2 minutes flat. yall forreal want a FLESH BLANKET encasing you??? a goddamn slab prison of human skin and Person Tissue draped across your corporeal form??? find a God and grovel for redemption.
being big spoon though? divine. precious. it grants the sensation of being a benevolent egg white, swaddled loosely within your blanket shell as you in turn cradle the precious yolk within your grasp. you are a sublime deity of warmth and comfort, one who may bestow your blessing on any mortal you deem fit. an unparalleled joy to perform.
and you can grab a tit ty
can yall please stop reblogging this post i made after eating three entire packages of marshmallow peeps washed down with a near-deadly amount of nyquil
Birds actually like to stick their heads in things and chirp/sing because of the way the sound waves bounce off the inside. It’s like the birb version of when you yell HELLOOOOO into a canyon to hear the echo 🙂
It’s so weird to see people actually accepting the “corporations are people” thing.
Like people saying things like “Pepsi feels bad and apologized”. Pepsi doesn’t “feel” anything, it’s an organization that attempts to make money by selling a product of the same name.
And the Denny’s-style blogs and twitter outlets where “Wendy’s” has a “sassy personality” and picks fights with the other fast food twitters serve to further this illusion. This whole act is being projected by an entire marketing team whose job is to make you think nice thoughts about the product so you’ll buy more.
They aren’t real. It’s all illusion and it’s leading people to think that they are hurting real people when they criticize or resist corporate action.
honey-bun-diaries 